Men in Boots

There is one, an only one, sort of boot I approve of men wearing; a kind of footwear that I'd see on a guy, and think "I could marry you solely for you boot choice".
I dislike all snow boots. I know they are practical, but give it up. You like to ski, that's cool, and you hit the slopes with your homeboys and your hot pink board, that's acceptable. But your boots are not. They're ugly, make you walk like a knee-less jamoke, and don't make me want to marry you.
Work boots: now, here is another practical boot. I don't totally dis the tan hiker type boot, and sometimes I think they are rather attractive, especially on the Brawny man or unlaced while you are smoking a nice pipe on a porch somewhere, but let's face it. If you wear work boots....fine fine fine, they're not that bad, I'll forgive this and marry you. 
I also loathe any type of leather boots, especially if they have heels, are made out of dead boa constrictors, or have plastic, metal, or pletal zippers. These are tacky. You're Mick Jagger, that's sweet. You're crusty and old and when I see your too-tiny T's and jeans, I do not think "You're smokin', let's elope".

I lied. I don't like any boots on men. Stick to white loafers, sleek dress shoes, and sneakers...not running shoes. Or boots. Of any kind.

I lied again. I don't give a crap what shoes you wear. This is not pertinent to our relationship at all. Wear what you want and I'll do the same and we can live happily ever after.